Be the miracle you wish to receive

 

Since I haven’t been sharing poetry lately, I just wanted to post something that caught my attention this evening here and on soundcloud. Enjoy.

Be the miracle you wish to receive

When the only thing left are only words that have been said before
Shattered feelings
Colors that run bleed and linger
What kind of person will I be
I guess I know why Frida painted
Sometimes only the lines colors and strokes understand
Sometimes there are no more words and you don’t wish to speak
Because words are too heavy
Too weighty
Not redeeming enough
The only thing forgiving enough is the tightly stretched canvas that gives
I’ve been here before on this floor
But I’ve never fallen this hard
The only thing that lifts me is the pen or brush
sometimes you are on the bus ride home from work thinking what type of existence is this?
To use me for such beauty then wring me so dry
At first with no tears left to cry just dull pain
I thought I could move on
I had it together didn’t I
Hell no
Damn
I didn’t
but now I am here just trying to become a better woman
Trying to move on
Become my own miracle
Was that realization supposed to make it easier?
When the only things left are words that have been said before
Shattered feelings
Colors that run bleed and linger
What kind of person will I be
I guess I know why Frida painted
Sometimes only the lines colors and strokes understand
Shattered feelings
Colors that run bleed and linger
What kind of person will I be
Something in the back of my mind says a miracle
To be the miracle I think I need
To be the miracle I wish to receive

 

Copyright© 2018 Narelle Thomas
All rights reserved.

I’ll re-write this when I’m sober

I’ll rewrite this when I’m sober
I’ll rewrite this when I’m sober when my words have less truth
And reality speaks louder
I’ll rewrite this when I’m sober
When hurt won’t flow through the pen ink
When I learn to cry my tears without laughing
Halfway pretending that I’m drunk so that no one knows that I’m trying to cheer myself up with things that aren’t really funny
I’ll rewrite this when I’m sober and life makes less sense and I can finally somehow come to grips with it all
I’ll rewrite this when I’m not chasing any and everything to avoid confronting my fears, the truth, and refilling shot after shot glass trying to hit targets that shift and move
I’ll rewrite this when I’m sober to shatter all that we had, all the emotion that we are..
Maybe wish upon a star that when I’m sober nightmares DON’T turn into dreams so I can finally get stronger
Strong enough to embrace acceptance and recreate my reality
I’ll rewrite life when I’m sober
But for now I’ll write this down so that my mind can semi rest
I’ll rewrite life when I’m sober
But for now I’ll put myself to the test

Poem for this month- untitled

My feelings are embedded in the inaudible notes
On replay
In the backdrop between your breath and mine
dancing between heartbeats
Dancing
In the spaces that our words played through to get to each other
Living in worlds only created in the silence of the mind
Union of body
Impression on the spirit
Mutual expression
Felt
Ever mingling
Ever enchanted
Creating a burning in our core
As the butterflies reappear like the sun and rainbows after a deadly storm
We are silent and sure
Our mouths speak no words
Our gestures
Our eyes
Our minds say more
Our feelings
reciprocation
Never more adored

Did you ever

You ever feel?
You ever just sit there and feel your feelings?
Well I’m not the most emotional or the most deep
but I feel that I’ve become a lot more feeling
When I learned to accept the way that I am and noticed how many people are so uncomfortable being themselves
After I noticed how so many people learn after a certain point it is okay not to feel anymore
I felt even more compelled to share the way that I feel and spread the importance of really living
Trying
Caring enough to communicate clearly with the ones you care about because you know that it would hurt more to only know how someone really feels when they’re mad at you
I mean what if you blew up in an argument with someone and finally found out the truth and it scalded you
You go to work come back and realized that that was the last time you would see them or the last time they see you
How would you feel if you never let them know the truth unless it was thrown at the target person
Meant to burn char and cause their skin to peel
Communication should not begin or end in a stressful place
It should begin between sips of tea in the morning
A smile in the noon
A hug and kiss before bed
Many don’t get to talk anymore
Appreciate each others company
People are too frustrated to smile
To closed off or closed minded to connect
And even more feel too alone
Too scared
Too stubborn
Judgmental of themselves
Too scared to be vulnerable to feeling
To accept the truth as it is
Too afraid
Too hesitant
to talk about the reasons why

Copyright© 2012 Narelle Thomas
All rights reserved.

“She’s somebody’s baby, she’s somebody’s sister, she’s somebody’s mama…”

peace everyone
I just wanted to take this post and dedicate it to the females. Treat all of the females in your life the right way, the way that they deserve to be treated.
Check this out and please let me know what you feel from it!
And if you have twitter follow me @Narelle_T
Facebook.com/NarelleThomasArt
href=”http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xV3v5UDuWig”>;The Need

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The Unmasking of a Natural Beauty

Why do you laugh when I’m myself not that funny kind of laugh but… the hurtful one

why do I go home feeling hurt every day until pain overcomes my whole body and tears through my brain

putting your words on display

repeating and building ..

stronger

 each and every time

again and again

until I almost believe your lies

 why do I have to wear an elaborate disguise to hide myself

and mask my words with things that you’d like to hear

trying not to show my fear of being hurt and put down another day

I go to school

and ask what will it be today?

my kinky hair or my old hat to cover it?

will it be my big lips or the way that I suck them in to try to make them look like that supermodels on tv?

is it the shoes that i didn’t buy yesterday or the day before that makes you call me poor

is it that i don’t pronounce my words as clearly as you do

or how my family doesn’t have enough money to just supply me with whatever stuff i wish for?

 so i go home and ask my mom a different question every day

“why can’t i have a relaxer or a flat iron at least?”

“why is my nose wide and my lips big with cheek bones that reach for the sky?”

why can’t I at least have one more pair of shoes or show jewelery like the other kids

so one day she sat me down and i thought oh no i’ve already said too much  she knows everything i’m thinking and then she told me that that’s what makes me different…

that i’m the way that I’m supposed to be

a natural beauty

I don’t need to wear a mask to fit in and be like everyone else

 I can be myself

 me

I don’t need to wear a hat to cover my hair

my kinks and curls are beautiful and my features are lively

 I don’t need a relaxer to straighten my personality

she told me that I should never have shame for being myself and should use my words

 to make them think…

show them how to love themselves too

and how we can all help each other

and learn to love each other so much that we can push our differences aside

and embrace them 

sew our similarities together

 and just be us

the many that form one
 Copyright, 2011 Narelle Thomas, All rights reserved.  May not be duplicated in any form without express written permission by the author.

Soaring Upwards

Soaring Upwards-

Sometimes I sit and wonder what it feels like to be a bird…to be free
to fly in the sky…and soar..up
so high..above everything
making it seem so small
with great distance..higher and higher
confident…not worried about falling
birds are like us
but they sing to each other
they have nests
they even build from their environments
communities…
they sing out loud for everyone to hear
they speak their languages
the many pitches tones and caws
and each are understood commonly
they don’t need TV to show them reality
with no flaw…they are free
to fly must mean to have no limits..no boundaries..no animosity…
being true and in tune with the things around you
and if people are so much like birds ..what happened?
where did we go wrong?
some say that they like to be firmly planted to the ground but I ask… why?…. we aren’t trees
but even trees look to their roots for guidance
they fly together
they aren’t confined…with trapped minds…
we like having our minds in the clouds…afraid to come down
we seem to be so tied back and down by the temporary chains of earth
if only we could see through the eyes of the birds
they can fly through the trees …past the clouds
and never look down, for the fall
but instead looking up towards the sun
why can’t we fly?…I wonder
sometimes as i sit and watch the birds and become inspired
as I continue to look…I dream
I see us and them too
flying with wings of infinity
higher past the limits and further than the skies

Copyright, 2011 Narelle Thomas, All rights reserved. May not be duplicated in any form without express written permission by the author

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