Hoping That Someone Will See Me

inspired by a bus ride
watching some people stare at a man but say nothing
this piece is in the perspective of the man experiencing it

Hoping that someone will see me

Dressed in hot pink

Neon green

Purple and yellow

Hoping that someone will see me

Eyes shift

Heads turn

Eyes roll

Nose turns

Up

As I walk by

No words come from my mouth

Teeth sucked

As I sit down

Zebra print scarf

Hair comb clip from the eighties

Jean jacket

No words

Just looks

Just loud offended faces

Hoping someone will open their eyes instead of closing them

Head shaking

Put on everything in my drawers

Just hoping that someone would see me

Stares

Glares and whispers

Nothing new to me

Clip in hair designed for Barbie

fit so perfectly on me

“Crazy” is my name

Or at least that’s what they call me

Or maybe it’s “eww”

I seem to have forgotten

Maybe it’s “what the hell?”

Who gives a damn

I express myself the only way I know how

Words exchanged

Handed out freely

“Hi how ya doin?”

No one asks me

No smiles

Just dirty looks

Distance as they scoot further away

They think they can treat me any kind of way

Longing to just talk

Just feel again

I walk over next to them

Shocked

Nothing to say, I guess

Nothing new

Just about to speak

But someone looks at them

they feel ashamed.

So, sorry no greeting today

I wish they would learn not to color

Their glasses in with lies and judgement before they open their eyes

I wish they wouldn’t banish me from society before they see

So I proceed along

Best person they’d meet

Happy

Clean

Nice

Friendly

Long story

Yesterday on repeat

Day after day

Looking for someone

Different

Hoping that someone will see me

Copyright© 2013 Narelle Thomas
All rights reserved.

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The Unmasking of a Natural Beauty

Why do you laugh when I’m myself not that funny kind of laugh but… the hurtful one

why do I go home feeling hurt every day until pain overcomes my whole body and tears through my brain

putting your words on display

repeating and building ..

stronger

 each and every time

again and again

until I almost believe your lies

 why do I have to wear an elaborate disguise to hide myself

and mask my words with things that you’d like to hear

trying not to show my fear of being hurt and put down another day

I go to school

and ask what will it be today?

my kinky hair or my old hat to cover it?

will it be my big lips or the way that I suck them in to try to make them look like that supermodels on tv?

is it the shoes that i didn’t buy yesterday or the day before that makes you call me poor

is it that i don’t pronounce my words as clearly as you do

or how my family doesn’t have enough money to just supply me with whatever stuff i wish for?

 so i go home and ask my mom a different question every day

“why can’t i have a relaxer or a flat iron at least?”

“why is my nose wide and my lips big with cheek bones that reach for the sky?”

why can’t I at least have one more pair of shoes or show jewelery like the other kids

so one day she sat me down and i thought oh no i’ve already said too much  she knows everything i’m thinking and then she told me that that’s what makes me different…

that i’m the way that I’m supposed to be

a natural beauty

I don’t need to wear a mask to fit in and be like everyone else

 I can be myself

 me

I don’t need to wear a hat to cover my hair

my kinks and curls are beautiful and my features are lively

 I don’t need a relaxer to straighten my personality

she told me that I should never have shame for being myself and should use my words

 to make them think…

show them how to love themselves too

and how we can all help each other

and learn to love each other so much that we can push our differences aside

and embrace them 

sew our similarities together

 and just be us

the many that form one
 Copyright, 2011 Narelle Thomas, All rights reserved.  May not be duplicated in any form without express written permission by the author.

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